Technique to Improve Your Personality Effectively

1) Definite Techniques :

        Improving or developing one’s personality with respect to different requirements, is an important characteristic of a smart person. Every person aims at improving his/her personality. But, how does one achieve it is an important question to be answered?

        There are certain definite techniques which can be utilised for the improvement of your personality in the framework of the social setting. You can easily practice these techniques to spruce up your personality. According to Geoffrey A. Dudley, 

          You can use the following general principles of habit formation that can be applied to the various habits to improve your personality:

(i) Concentrate on one activity at a time:(ii) Understand what you are and why:(iii) Now, think about a person who lacks confidence:(iv) View yourself becoming what you want to be in the future:(v) Suggest to yourself that you can be what you imagine:(vi) Perform the part you want to play in life: 

(i) Concentrate on one activity at a time: 

You should concentrate on one activity at a time in order to improve your personality. The personality of an individual is defined as the combination of all the attributes that an individual has, such as behavioural, temperamental, emotional, and mental attributes. These attributes characterise a unique individual. Thus, it is logical to split the problem of improving personality needs into specific attributes that require enhancement. Then, these habits should be tackled one at a time. Therefore, concentrating on one habit at a time helps in improving your personality.

(ii) Understand what you are and why: 

You should always have an understanding of what you are and why. You should try and develop a fuller understanding of your motives. For example, you can study your childhood experiences to discover the causes of the trouble, if any in your life. Finally, revive the original memories and re-evaluate them in the light of mature adult experience.

(iii) Now, think about a person who lacks confidence: 

Try to find out the reasons

for his/her low confidence level. One such reason could be his/her family environment where the family lacks confidence. Other possible reasons for low confidence level include:

• Being unloved and unwanted in childhood
• Being over protected by people around
• Being spoilt or pampered as a child
• Undergoing physical traumas or emotional shocks
• Experiencing a mental conflict which leads to the repression of a strong
• desire

(iv) View yourself becoming what you want to be in the future: 

You should imagine yourself as the person you want to become in your future. You cannot overcome the lack of confidence merely by will power. Besides relying only on will power, you should use the power of imagination to acquire high confidence level. Imagination and will power together work very effectively. Visualise yourself as the person you would like to be in future. Try and create your own picture and the desired change (s) you expect. Then use your will power to make this picture or visualisation come true, in reality. For example, visualise yourself acting with confidence in your social or professional life. Imagine yourself exchanging opinions with people you meet and expressing an active interest in their interests. Consider yourself replying confidently when your supervisor speaks to you.

(v) Suggest to yourself that you can be what you imagine: 

You should inform yourself that you can become whatever you want to be. You should no longer be afraid of the memories of the past. Replace your fears with confidence by giving yourself suggestions at different intervals. For this purpose, repeat the following statement, at any convenient time, in your mind, “hour by hour, I am gaining confidence in every way”.

(vi) Perform the part you want to play in life :

You should try and perform the part that you want to play in life. Behave as if the desired change in you has already taken place. Also, listen to other’s viewpoint. If you want people to be interested in you, then:

• Be as interested in them as you expect them to be in you.
• Show a genuine interest in other people.
• Talk about the things that interest them.
• Rejoice with them in their good fortune.
• Show appreciation of others.
• Speak well of people.
• Avoid making others feel inferior.
• Eliminate disapproval and adverse criticism.
• Give a friendly smile.
• Cultivate a sense of humour.

            So far you have learned the general techniques that an individual can practice to

improve his/her personality. Now, you will learn some more specific analysis techniques that are used to improve an individual’s personality type and how an individual can develop new traits to relate to his/her career and society.

2) Performing SWOT Analysis :

             For any work you do, your personality contributes a lot to the success of the work. Self-analysis,analysing the environment in which we work, and the real knowledge about the work are the major factors that contribute to the success of your work. SWOT analysis is an effective method for identifying your strengths and weaknesses, and to examine the opportunities and threats you have. In addition, SWOT analysis is a strategic planning method used to evaluate the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats involved in a project or in a business venture. Generally, SWOT analysis is conducted for teams or groups by the team or project leader.

The major benefits of performing SWOT analysis for an individual are:

• It identifies the career growth of an individual.
• It identifies the personal effectiveness and productivity of an individual.
• It enables recognising the potential of an individual which has not been identified so far.
• It nullifies the weaknesses of an individual and evolves a suitable action plan as a part of the remedial measure.
• It identifies the various training needs for an individual from his/her weaknesses identified during the SWOT analysis.

             Thus, you can now identify that when performed for a team or group, SWOT analysis

serves as a balance sheet indicating the health of the team/group. Thus, you can build your strengths and address your weaknesses by evolving appropriate action plans, leveraging your opportunities, and eliminating threats.

3) Personal Quality Initiative (PQI) :

             After identifying your strengths and weaknesses and the opportunities and threats that you face from the outside world, you will be wondering as to how you will tackle all these problems. Since you have identified your problem areas, it is very easy to weed out the problems. There are certain mechanisms that come handy to solve your problems. The mechanisms have more to do with your behaviour or habit and are useful tools of self-development.

              One such tool is the Personal Quality Initiative (PQI). You always want to inculcate some new habits or improve upon some of the tasks that you perform regularly. In PQI, you will identify various parameters to improve your habits. A parameter is defined as the framing of few good practices that you would like to acquire and some ineffective practices that you would like to cast off in your personal and professional life.
                You can use the PQI tool to identify meaningful parameters and to give you a simple mechanism, where problems/improvement areas are the input and well-defined parameters are the outputs.

There are many techniques and approaches that can be utilized to improve personal quality. Adhere to the following steps that should be followed as an approach to self-improvement:

(i)  Identify the shortcomings: 

Identify the defects or shortcomings that you want to improve in yourself. List the improvement areas in the following spheres of your life:

• Self: You may want to improve your behaviour and habits. For instance, you tend to get angry over extremely trivial matters. Consequently, you react in the heat of the moment and regret the reaction later.
• Family: You may not have harmonious relations with your spouse, siblings, cousins, or relatives, and you wish to improve the same.
• Health: You may have a disease or an ailment that you want to eradicate.
• Social: You may not have cordial relations with your friends or neighbours, and you wish to improve the same.

(ii)  Set up measurement: 

Select any one of the preceding areas on which you wish to work. Then, use a check sheet to quantify the problem and define it as clearly as possible. Suppose you select the problem - “I tend to get angry over trivial matters”. Now, quantify it in terms of the number of days in a week or month that you got angry, as shown in the following table.

                                     Checksheet used to Quantify and Define the Problem

When you measure this quantity after a period of time, you know whether or not the situation has improved.

(iii)  Identify the possible causes: 

List the probable causes of the problem. You can use the given fishbone diagram that will enable you to classify the causes or likely reasons for the problem.

The preceding diagram defines the reasons of an individual getting angry over trivial matters, as discussed in step 2. The diagram enables you to identify various reasons and causes that are under your influence. By controlling the causes under your influence, you can control the occurrence of the problem.

(iv) Identify the root cause: 

Merely providing a fix to the problem can be very dangerous because this may lead to permanent damage. Therefore, you should determine the root cause or the main reason behind the problem.

(v)  List the possible solutions: 

List the ways by which you can correct the problem. Create a detailed list. Even if you think the solution is impractical, write it down. Do not eliminate any possible solution at this stage. Some generic solutions to some problems include:

•  Do breathing exercises to calm the mind and control your anger.
•  Do not expect people to behave the way you want them to.

(vi) Overcome the problem: 

Choose one of the corrective actions that you can take to solve the problem. You should understand that people behave according to their nature. Therefore, you should accept others as they are and do not expect them to behave according to your whims.

(vii) Prepare a backup plan: 

Prepare a backup plan that can be used if the master plan fails to be effective.

(viii) Evaluate and follow up: 

The check sheet to check the status after you start implementing a solution to a problem. Verify if the number of instances of becoming angry reduces or not. If the number has reduced, you can congratulate yourself. Also, you should continue to tread the same path and before long you will be able to get rid of your anger once and for all.

4) Seven Habits of Highly Effective People :

               Besides using the various techniques, such as SWOT analysis and PQI, use the seven habits of highly effective people to improve your personality type. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People1, first published in 1989, is a self-help book written by Stephen R.

Covey. Stephen Covey is an internationally respected teacher, chairman, and founder of

Covey Leadership Center.

Adhere to the following seven habits of highly effective people to improve your personality:

(i) Be proactive: 

Covey emphasises that you can either be proactive or reactive when it comes to how you respond to different situations. When you are reactive, you blame other people and circumstances for obstacles or problems. Being proactive, you take the responsibility for every aspect of your life. Then, you take actions to solve various problems.

(ii) Begin with the end in mind: 

Covey emphasises on setting long-term goals. He recommends creating a vision of one’s own life. He sees visualisation as an important tool to develop a vision. In addition, Covey has mentioned about organisational vision statements. According to him, the organisational vision statements can be more effective, if developed and supported by all members of an organisation.

(iii) Put first things first:

Covey describes a framework for prioritising work aimed at short term goals, at the cost of tasks that appear not to be urgent, but are, in fact, very important.

(iv) Think win/win: 

Covey describes that win/win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. It means that agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. Win/win is a belief in the “Third Alternative”. It’s not your way or my way, it’s a better way. In relationships and businesses, effectiveness is largely achieved through the cooperative efforts of two or more people. Win/win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody, that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense or exclusion of the success of others. Win/win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.

(v) Seek first to understand, then to be understood: 

Covey describes that communication is the most important skill in life. You spend most of your life communicating. Consider that you have spent years learning how to read and write and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training or education have you had that enables you to listen so that you really and deeply understand another human being from that individuals’ own frame of reference? In addition, Covey mentions that giving out advice without understanding a person and their situation might result in rejection of that

advice.

(vi) Synergize: 

Covey describes that synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership. It catalyses, unifies, and unleashes the greatest power within people. It describes the way of working in teams, applies effective problem solving, applies collaborative decision making, values differences, builds on divergent strengths, leverages creative collaboration, and embraces and leverages innovation.

(vii) Sharpen the saw:

Covey describes that this habit makes all the other habits

possible. It is preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have, that is,“You”. It focuses on balanced self-satisfaction. It is the renewal of the four dimension of your nature, physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional.Without this discipline, the body becomes weak, the mind becomes mechanical, the emotions become raw, the spirit becomes insensitive, and the person becomes selfish.

                   These seven habits are the habits of effectiveness. Because they are based on

principles, they bring the maximum long-term beneficial results possible. They become

the basis of a person’s character, creating an empowering center of correct maps from

which an individual can effectively solve problems, maximize opportunities, and continually learn and integrate other principles in an upward spiral of growth. The seven habits of highly effective people provide a holistic, integrated approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. Taken together, these seven habits cultivate personal character, which is the foundation of effectiveness.

" Ways to Improve Self-Esteem "

               To be confident and effective in your life, you need to develop self-esteem. It is a

fundamental ingredient for success.

               Consider a girl named Rosy. She is a timid person who does not mingle with others and always keeps herself away from her classmates. She is not confident about performing

any activity and off late has also developed an inferiority complex. She feels others can perform better than her. She hesitates to share her ideas and believes that others might

criticise or make fun of her. As a result, she prefers to stay aloof.

                After reading the preceding scenario, what do you think of Rosy? What kind of a person is Rosy? What is the problem with her nature? How can she overcome the problem that she is facing?

                Let us now move forward to learn some of the ways that can help you improve your self-esteem.

The various ways to improve your self-esteem are:-

(i) Build confidence: 

Confidence stays on the inside and builds from there. So,whenever you want to accomplish any goal, picture yourself as having already achieved the goal. See yourself as a successful individual and make it real in your mind. Then put what you see into action.

(ii) Reach out to others: 

Give compliments to others. Make a list of the things you would like and appreciate in others. Lend a helping hand when you can. By helping others, we feel more in control of our own lives.

(iii) Avoid perfectionism: 

Perfectionism paralyses you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

(iv) Take care of your physical appearance:  

Your physical appearance is a critical factor in your self-esteem. Resist the urge to be sloppy on days when you feel bad. In fact, those are the days when you should take extra care to look your best.

(iv) Get in touch with your own creative energy: 

When you can use your body effectively, then you feel controlled. Do regular exercise. Listen to music, communicate with nature, and do meditation. These actions enable you to let thoughts come and go. What were your passions as a child? What do you fantasise about now? Try to find answers to such questions.

(v) Respect yourself: 

List 50 reasons why you can respect yourself. If you get stuck, think of people who admire you or have admired you, and write down what they say about you.

(vi) Look for a silver lining: 

When you are going through tough times, find the strength or a piece of knowledge.

(vii) Act in accordance with your own values: 

Sometimes your values conflict. In that case, practice role playing with a friend and explore the various consequences of each action. Then choose what feels best for you.

(viii) Be good to yourself on a daily basis: 

Perform activities that make you feel good, that’s just for you. Do such activities every day.

(ix) Challenge yourself: 

Travel to a new place. It is easier to try out new facets of your personality when you are away from the familiar. As you meet new challenges, you gain new confidence and enhance your sense of accomplishments.

(x) Practice optimism: 

If you believe in pessimism, then come out of such negative beliefs. Think of misfortunes as temporary and specific instead of permanent and general. For example, you may feel “All managers are fools”, a view that can lead to feeling hopeless about a particular problem you have encountered. “My manager was in a bad mood this morning” is an explanation that takes the temporary/specific viewpoint. It allows scope for improvement.

You should try and practice these positive measures to reinforce your own belief in

yourself and increase your self-esteem.